the lump on the sofa
Bianca is 43, a very successful career-woman, married with two school-aged children and while she commands respect at work it is a different story on the home front.
"My mother once told me," laughs Bianca, "that if there's a lump on the sofa then you either married it or gave birth to it, and that describes not only my father but my husband and kids, too!"
“I could whistle a happy tune and do my best to convince myself that I am performing a labor of love rather than a menial duty when I pick up and clean up after others, but when they are loafing in front of the television looking at me as if it is their God-given right to be picked up and cleaned up after I cannot help but feel degraded."
"My mother also told me," confides Bianca, "that women who find themselves in menial jobs on top of the menial work they do at home are fools. The whole feminist movement was wasted on them and they should try very hard to come back as men in their next lives."
When her husband quoted her something by William Bennett to the effect that there are no menial jobs, just menial attitudes, Bianca saw red - which was, of course, his intention!
"I'm an Aries," laughs Bianca, "and my husband knows that I have a quick temper and hate being pushed around."
"I told him that the quotation was nothing more than a pernicious capitalist (i.e. male) plot to persuade otherwise intelligent people (i.e. women) to do work others (i.e. men) would not deign to do."
"Look at it this way," says Bianca, "if you can get people to actually believe in the quote - that there are no menial jobs, just menial attitudes - then you can get people actually lining up to do menial work just to prove that they do not have menial attitudes!"
"Hello? Frankly, anyone with a modicum of intelligence knows the difference between a menial job and a non-menial job," snorts Bianca.
"You only need to look at the dictionary definition of the word to understand why menial work is avoided like the plague by women aiming for a six-figure salary - especially women with children who do enough menial work at home without having to put up with it at work."
Menial = lowly, degrading
Lowly = of humble rank
Degrading = bringing disgrace or humiliation upon
"Does that sound like the sort of work you would like to do? If not, then does that mean you have a menial attitude? Does that sound like the type of work that a person of high rank or high self-respect would do? If not, then does that mean such people have menial attitudes?" asks Bianca.
"No, no, no, no!" laughs Bianca.
"And yet," muses Bianca, "William Bennett and his ilk appear to be aiming to get us to believe that because we make a distinction between menial jobs and other jobs, ipso facto we must therefore have menial or degrading attitudes towards the people doing menial work."
Bianca has a six-figure salary and yet she never looks down her nose at people doing menial work.
"I started off doing a menial job at 15," explains Bianca. "Everyone understands that when you start out in life - or when the chips are down - we all have to take whatever type of work we can get. Yet nothing could be more menial than the work women have to do at home."
Bianca believes that having a job, any job, is better than not having one. But a menial job, is a menial job and nothing Mr Bennett or anyone else can say will change her mind about that.
However, she takes Mr Bennett's point that there are many people who do behave abominably towards people doing menial work but she does not think that his quote ameliorates their lot.
"It merely draws attention to them and the divide that separates menial jobs from other jobs," explains Bianca. "You know you are doing menial work when people look down upon you, and consider you of lower rank or importance than themselves because you are doing something they would not deign to do."
"Millions of working women around the world know that feeling only too well when they get stuck into the housework, having long given up the expectation that their men-folk will pitch in and help."
"The only reason so many men are such deliberately bad housekeepers is because they consider it menial work," laughs Bianca.
If Bianca were asked by her boss to do any menial work she would consider that request to be degrading. Her boss would have no right to fling at her some ridiculous argument that she must have a menial attitude in order to consider such work to be beneath her dignity.
"If the mess bothered my boss so much - and he truly believes that there is no such thing as a menial job, just menial attitudes," says Bianca, "then what is to stop him doing the menial work himself?"
"Why would he ask me to do it - especially when he pays me a six figure income?"
Bianca’s boss, of course, would never make such a request of her. It is her high self-esteem and attitude that got her where she is today, and she learned both of these qualities from her mother.
"And if that means I have menial attitudes then so be it," laughs Bianca. "Successful men don't do menial labor and neither do successful women -- especially Aries women!"
"I guess I'm not cut out for marriage and children!"
"My mother once told me," laughs Bianca, "that if there's a lump on the sofa then you either married it or gave birth to it, and that describes not only my father but my husband and kids, too!"
“I could whistle a happy tune and do my best to convince myself that I am performing a labor of love rather than a menial duty when I pick up and clean up after others, but when they are loafing in front of the television looking at me as if it is their God-given right to be picked up and cleaned up after I cannot help but feel degraded."
"My mother also told me," confides Bianca, "that women who find themselves in menial jobs on top of the menial work they do at home are fools. The whole feminist movement was wasted on them and they should try very hard to come back as men in their next lives."
When her husband quoted her something by William Bennett to the effect that there are no menial jobs, just menial attitudes, Bianca saw red - which was, of course, his intention!
"I'm an Aries," laughs Bianca, "and my husband knows that I have a quick temper and hate being pushed around."
"I told him that the quotation was nothing more than a pernicious capitalist (i.e. male) plot to persuade otherwise intelligent people (i.e. women) to do work others (i.e. men) would not deign to do."
"Look at it this way," says Bianca, "if you can get people to actually believe in the quote - that there are no menial jobs, just menial attitudes - then you can get people actually lining up to do menial work just to prove that they do not have menial attitudes!"
"Hello? Frankly, anyone with a modicum of intelligence knows the difference between a menial job and a non-menial job," snorts Bianca.
"You only need to look at the dictionary definition of the word to understand why menial work is avoided like the plague by women aiming for a six-figure salary - especially women with children who do enough menial work at home without having to put up with it at work."
Menial = lowly, degrading
Lowly = of humble rank
Degrading = bringing disgrace or humiliation upon
"Does that sound like the sort of work you would like to do? If not, then does that mean you have a menial attitude? Does that sound like the type of work that a person of high rank or high self-respect would do? If not, then does that mean such people have menial attitudes?" asks Bianca.
"No, no, no, no!" laughs Bianca.
"And yet," muses Bianca, "William Bennett and his ilk appear to be aiming to get us to believe that because we make a distinction between menial jobs and other jobs, ipso facto we must therefore have menial or degrading attitudes towards the people doing menial work."
Bianca has a six-figure salary and yet she never looks down her nose at people doing menial work.
"I started off doing a menial job at 15," explains Bianca. "Everyone understands that when you start out in life - or when the chips are down - we all have to take whatever type of work we can get. Yet nothing could be more menial than the work women have to do at home."
Bianca believes that having a job, any job, is better than not having one. But a menial job, is a menial job and nothing Mr Bennett or anyone else can say will change her mind about that.
However, she takes Mr Bennett's point that there are many people who do behave abominably towards people doing menial work but she does not think that his quote ameliorates their lot.
"It merely draws attention to them and the divide that separates menial jobs from other jobs," explains Bianca. "You know you are doing menial work when people look down upon you, and consider you of lower rank or importance than themselves because you are doing something they would not deign to do."
"Millions of working women around the world know that feeling only too well when they get stuck into the housework, having long given up the expectation that their men-folk will pitch in and help."
"The only reason so many men are such deliberately bad housekeepers is because they consider it menial work," laughs Bianca.
If Bianca were asked by her boss to do any menial work she would consider that request to be degrading. Her boss would have no right to fling at her some ridiculous argument that she must have a menial attitude in order to consider such work to be beneath her dignity.
"If the mess bothered my boss so much - and he truly believes that there is no such thing as a menial job, just menial attitudes," says Bianca, "then what is to stop him doing the menial work himself?"
"Why would he ask me to do it - especially when he pays me a six figure income?"
Bianca’s boss, of course, would never make such a request of her. It is her high self-esteem and attitude that got her where she is today, and she learned both of these qualities from her mother.
"And if that means I have menial attitudes then so be it," laughs Bianca. "Successful men don't do menial labor and neither do successful women -- especially Aries women!"
"I guess I'm not cut out for marriage and children!"
Labels: career women, feminist movement, lumps, menial attitude, menial work, sofas
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