gay marriage is about legal rights, not sex

Begonia is divorced with two adult children and adopted the gay lifestyle at 52 after a lifetime of being heterosexual. She points out that the concept of gay marriage is not about sex; it's about the legal rights and responsibilities of two people committed to caring for each other until the end of their days.

"Many of us who are on our own, with or without children, wonder who is going to care for us when we fall ill, have a life crisis or just age," says Begonia, "and if you can't find a partner of the opposite sex then it's common sense, basic survival, to join forces with someone of the same sex in the same position as yourself."

"That's what drew me towards my partner, and her to me," explains Begonia. "We were two middle-aged menopausal women living lonely lives, shunned by mainstream male dominated society because of our age, and by pooling our resources we were able to enjoy a far better lifestyle than we had on our own, as well as enjoying the blessing of each other's company 24/7 and sharing the housework (a biggy!)."

"My adult children are really cool about my new lifestyle," says Begonia. "They are happy that I am happy, it's as simple as that."

"My partner and I are both well past the age of raging hormones so neither of us is interested in sex -- not that it's any of your business," laughs Begonia. "What we have is an affectionate genuinely caring relationship and that's a lot more than most heterosexual couples enjoy."

"We want gay marriage legalized because it will give us the same rights and responsibilities as heterosexual marriage," says Begonia. "Right now our relationship exists outside the law lacking all of the legal rights granted to parents, children, spouses and, in some locations, de facto domestic partners."

"Other relationships cope with illness or old age with a lot of help from the government or their employers and none of these benefits are available to us."

"We cannot take leave from work to care for each other, we are not recognized as 'family' by any social institution, including hospitals, and we are out of the reach of the law in relation to inheritance and spousal financial support."

"Our relationship will prevent either of us from becoming a burden on society in old age," explains Begonia, "and legalizing it binds our commitment to each other in so many more ways than that."

"With so many lonely single people out there, especially those over 40 with little or no hope of ever finding a heterosexual partner to share their life with, it makes a lot of sense for society to accept the concept of gay marriage -- meaning same-sex marriage, with or without the sex – as a way to solve a lot of social problems."

"Escalating housing and financial problems are obvious social problems, but more salient on a personal level is the growing problem of isolation, alienation, depression and substance abuse in an ageing society of predominantly single people."

"If it sounds crazy to marry your best same-sex friend," laughs Begonia, "then it's just as crazy to marry your best opposite-sex friend."

"And why should one relationship have benefits, rights and responsibilities and the other not?"