wives and moms are property?

Ronnie’s ex-husband was grossly possessive, and the last thing she expected after divorce was his attitude to be inherited by their daughters who, like her husband, treated her like property.
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"With their father's encouragement, my daughters became determined to bring his abuse back into my life," says Ronnie. "They felt, like he did, that I had no right and no power to end the marriage - I 'belonged' to their father, I was his 'property' and, indeed, their 'property', too."

"If my kids expected me to stay married to their father and keep a home for them for rest of their lives then they're living in cloud cuckoo land," laughs Ronnie, “and for them to play the 'victim' in this situation is so ridiculous that I wonder what on earth they teach kids in schools and colleges today.”

“I gave my kids a far better start to life than I had, and if in doing that I set them up to expect too much then that’s something I need to put them right about quick smart.”

"Unlike the massive inconvenience my parent's divorce caused me," explains Ronnie, "my divorce did not inconvenience my children at all, most especially my eldest daughter who was already an adult of 18 when I told her father either he leaves or I will, and thankfully he did otherwise there would have been a big change of residence to really inconvenience her."

"If my eldest daughter harbors 'pain' about the divorce and considers herself a 'victim', then it emerged from her continuing relationship with him," claims Ronnie. "It is something she needs to resolve with her father, not me. When he left, a pall of misery lifted from the house and she was as happy as I was."

"My daughters and I enjoyed a great relationship until three months after the divorce when I found a boyfriend and then all hell broke loose," explains Ronnie. "It never bothered them or me that their father was sexually involved with other women. It bothered both of them, however, when I sought a loving relationship."

Read more about Ronnie:

broken home victims?

adult kids rake up the past

family punishment

amicable divorce sham

Four years after what Selma considered to be an amicable divorce her ex-mother in law died unexpectedly at the early age of 58, and what unfolded from this event proved to resolve many issues.

“I was married for six years and my ex-husband’s mother made my life a living hell,” says Selma. “She was mentally ill and totally dominated not only her son, but me, too.”

“I called my ex to offer my help with anything he needed to do and his reaction was so uncharacteristically mean and cruel that it was another sweet justice when he later married a woman who did to him not only what he unjustly accused me of trying to do to him (i.e. coming on to him because he had inherited a small fortune) but who also treated him with as much cruelty as his mother had once treated me!”

“Up until that telephone call I had never held my ex responsible for his mother’s behavior or considered he might have inherited her mental problems,” says Selma, “but afterwards I realized that he could have done a great deal to stop her harassing me, but he didn’t and probably saw her behavior towards me as being okay.”

“I then understood that he had never cherished me, or was incapable of such feelings – that’s why he let me go so easily,” says Selma, “and that being the case, the two miscarriages I suffered were a blessing in disguise, not just for me but for the babies themselves.”

“So, although the telephone call turned out to be very painful, it also turned out to be very enlightening, ridding me of any lingering doubt and guilt about my role in the marital breakup.”


Read more by Selma on this issue:

Sweet Justice

It’s a jungle out there!

caring for mad mother in law