going fishing

Belinda is separated with an eight year old son and because the boy's father is a deadbeat dad in that he has neither time nor inclination to take on board the 'man things' that boys do with their dads she, like a lot of moms, has necessarily had to do these things with him herself.

"I would have loved to have spent my summer holidays lazing on a beach somewhere," explains Belinda, "but for the sake of Joshua's development as a well-rounded little man I decided to take him on a fishing trip instead."

"I had never been fishing in my life before - nor did I ever want to," laughs Belinda, "so while it was going to be a bit of an educational adventure for Joshua it was going to be a labor of love for me."

"The trip was a typical dad and son thing - a week away camping in the wilds by a river," explains Belinda, "and I didn't feel too bad about going when I discovered I wasn't going to be the only mom there."

"The trip organizers provided tents, airbeds, tuition and all food," says Belinda, "so all we had to provide were the fishing lines."

"Neither Joshua nor I knew what type of fishing line to buy - so we opted for two cheap rods and hoped for the best."

"I don't know what was more uncomfortable on that trip," laughs Belinda. "Sleeping in a tent with leeches as sleeping companions or sitting on damp river banks for hours on end bored out of my brains!"

"I can understand now why so many dads prefer to work through their weekends and summer holidays - it spares them the humiliation of being shown up as soft dads when they attempt to do man things with their sons!"

"Joshua loved the experience and seeing him so happy made me happy, too, even though I was visualizing myself on a beach with a martini up cloze!"

"I never caught as much as an old boot for all the effort I put into fishing," laughs Belinda, "but Joshua caught a fish on his very first day and then he was hooked."

"We ate our catches for dinner - deep fried fish ever night - and it is just as well that everybody else had catches otherwise we would have starved."

"It was amazing seeing Joshua concentrating so hard on catching a fish."

"I had never seen him so quiet and so immobile."

"He got on well with the fishing tutor - an old guy who made a great grandfather model for the boys - and it was this guy rather than the fathers and the two moms on the trip that did the male bonding thing with the boys."

"Joshua didn't complain about the leeches, the stench of fish or the monotonous diet of fish every day," says Belinda. "He loved every minute of that trip and was really sad when it came to an end."

"For his sake I was sad too because on that trip we had become close to what I imagine a dad and son relationship would be like."

"I had seen a side of Joshua I had never seen before - a quiet focused boy thriving in a rough environment - and even if we never go on another fishing trip together I am satisfied that he has had the experience of knowing what it is like to be a 'man'."