till death do us part
Emily is 36 and knows all about loss. She lost her husband to a pre-existing rare form of cancer in 1998 -- a situation she was not fully aware of -- and the memory of their short-lived marriage and the horror she went through as a caregiver still haunt her.
"I am over Mark's death as much as anyone can get over the death of a loved one," explains Emily. "It was the daily experience of caring for him in the last years of his life that brings back painful memories. It was a terrible time for me. I was way too young to have to go through all of that stuff - and it was something I never expected when I married him ."
"Mark and I never had children because of his disease, but I had no idea that his disease was terminal - that it would kill him," explains Emily "I still feel a bit cheated, but I'm coping as best I can.”
"I'm not saying that I wouldn't have married Mark had I known the truth," says Emily. "I just feel that I wasn't given a chance to make an informed decision."
"After Mark died I didn't really experience the denial stage of the recovery process because I'd known for a while that he was dying," says Emily. "It was a relief to realize that his death would end his suffering. But, of course, my suffering went on.”
"I remember when I first heard the truth about Mark's illness," says Emily, "I made all sorts of bargains with God to spare him, it’s a natural thing to do. When he died there was no bargaining left for me to do. His death relieved me of a great deal of the suffering I went through watching him waste away."
"Mark's family should really have taken responsibility for his care - not me," says Emily. "A wife may expect to care for a dying husband when she's in her 70s or 80s after fifty years of marriage. I was far too young - and not married long enough - to go through all the suffering that caregiving brings with it."
Read more about Emily:
surviving death of a loved one
depression or healthy misery?
young widow moves forward
"I am over Mark's death as much as anyone can get over the death of a loved one," explains Emily. "It was the daily experience of caring for him in the last years of his life that brings back painful memories. It was a terrible time for me. I was way too young to have to go through all of that stuff - and it was something I never expected when I married him ."
"Mark and I never had children because of his disease, but I had no idea that his disease was terminal - that it would kill him," explains Emily "I still feel a bit cheated, but I'm coping as best I can.”
"I'm not saying that I wouldn't have married Mark had I known the truth," says Emily. "I just feel that I wasn't given a chance to make an informed decision."
"After Mark died I didn't really experience the denial stage of the recovery process because I'd known for a while that he was dying," says Emily. "It was a relief to realize that his death would end his suffering. But, of course, my suffering went on.”
"I remember when I first heard the truth about Mark's illness," says Emily, "I made all sorts of bargains with God to spare him, it’s a natural thing to do. When he died there was no bargaining left for me to do. His death relieved me of a great deal of the suffering I went through watching him waste away."
"Mark's family should really have taken responsibility for his care - not me," says Emily. "A wife may expect to care for a dying husband when she's in her 70s or 80s after fifty years of marriage. I was far too young - and not married long enough - to go through all the suffering that caregiving brings with it."
Read more about Emily:
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