caring for disabled husband
Peggy is 27 and works hard to support and care for her disabled husband, Ben. She worries unnecessarily over lots of things, but mainly losing her job because Ben depends upon her and she doesn’t want to let him down.
"I’ve been a worrier all my life," explains Peggy. "I was the eldest of seven kids and I took responsibility for their care because my father had deserted my mother and she had to take on two jobs to support us."
"I suppose that being the eldest kid should have made me strong and decisive," laughs Peggy, "but I was terrified of the responsibility – worried that something bad would happen to us when mom was at work. Mostly I’d worry that mom wasn’t going to come home. And yes, she told me many years later that she often wanted to run away, just like dad had done, so I had intuited things correctly."
“And now I worry about Ben, especially because his condition is so tenuous," explains Peggy. "I worry about him all the time and stew about why such a terrible thing had to happen to him and this worry paralyzes my mind in much the same way as a damaged spinal cord has paralyzed Ben’s body turning him into a paraplegic.”
"I’m beginning to understand," says Peggy, "that although I’m grown up now, my reaction to situations is still very much like it was when I was little.”
“I’ve noticed myself stewing a lot more since Ben’s accident. Maybe it’s the responsibility of caring for him that causes me to react like a helpless little girl rather than the strong woman I am now. I need to constantly remind myself that no matter what I intuit about situations at work, I won’t lose my job and I won’t accomplish anything by stewing."
"Mom always came back home," explains Peggy, "and deep down I knew she always would, even though I used to stay up nights sitting by the door worrying my little heart out."
Read more about Peggy:
trusting vs stewing
worry and overeating
stewing on the job
hotheaded managers
"I’ve been a worrier all my life," explains Peggy. "I was the eldest of seven kids and I took responsibility for their care because my father had deserted my mother and she had to take on two jobs to support us."
"I suppose that being the eldest kid should have made me strong and decisive," laughs Peggy, "but I was terrified of the responsibility – worried that something bad would happen to us when mom was at work. Mostly I’d worry that mom wasn’t going to come home. And yes, she told me many years later that she often wanted to run away, just like dad had done, so I had intuited things correctly."
“And now I worry about Ben, especially because his condition is so tenuous," explains Peggy. "I worry about him all the time and stew about why such a terrible thing had to happen to him and this worry paralyzes my mind in much the same way as a damaged spinal cord has paralyzed Ben’s body turning him into a paraplegic.”
"I’m beginning to understand," says Peggy, "that although I’m grown up now, my reaction to situations is still very much like it was when I was little.”
“I’ve noticed myself stewing a lot more since Ben’s accident. Maybe it’s the responsibility of caring for him that causes me to react like a helpless little girl rather than the strong woman I am now. I need to constantly remind myself that no matter what I intuit about situations at work, I won’t lose my job and I won’t accomplish anything by stewing."
"Mom always came back home," explains Peggy, "and deep down I knew she always would, even though I used to stay up nights sitting by the door worrying my little heart out."
Read more about Peggy:
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