heading for a nervous breakdown
Gretel is 35 and newly separated. She has good childcare arrangements and works full-time, but complains bitterly of having no leisure time.
"Now more than ever I need the money that a full-time job gives me," says Gretel, "but I also need a job with flexibile hours because without a husband to share the chores in the evening I am becoming incredibly tired. No, I am actually frazzled and exhausted and heading for a nervous breakdown!"
Unfortunately, her employer is unwilling to make concessions for her and she is in no position, now, to start looking around for a new job.
Gretel is trying her best to start a new life with her children, while coping with a bit of trouble from her estranged husband -- nothing particularly upsetting -- and she just wishes that her employer would be more understanding of the adjustments she has to make in order to cope solely with caring for the children as well as holding down a job.
"Employers just don't take kindly to single working mothers like me whose lives demand more flexibility than the average worker," sighs Gretel.
"I understand that employers generally prefer that everyone starts and finishes at the same time," says Gretel, "and while security considerations do account for some lack of flexibility in working hours I feel that it has far more to do with power and inflexible business minds more than anything else."
"Look at it this way," says Gretel, "we all have different time clocks but single working mothers, like I am now, tend to follow the pattern of their children going to bed early and getting up early. It would suit me to start early and finish early, but I am expected to conform to business hours. Starting at 9am doesn't bother me, but finishing at 6pm or later is really killing me."
"When you're up at 6am," says Gretel, "finishing at 6pm, or later, makes it a terribly long day and all I want to do is sleep when I get home but of course I can't. I'm on my own now -- and I'm glad of that -- but if the children aren't demanding all of my attention then the chores are. I knew that separating from my husband would put a whole lot of extra pressure on me at home, and having an inflexible employer makes my life so much harder."
Gretel philosophically accepts, of course, that businesses are not in business to suit the time-clocks of staff -- and especially the needs of single mothers -- but she feels that if businesses really wanted to prosper then they might consider the benefits of flexible working hours for everyone.
In addition to lack of flexible working hours, Gretel has the misfortune of working for a husband and wife team who regularly keep staff back working late until they are ready to keep some fancy restaurant appointment.
"My employers, for instance, don't consider -- or even care -- that some of their employees are single parents like me and need to get home, cook dinner and get the kids to bed," sighs Gretel. "They just operate on the premise that since they are working late, everyone else should be working late too."
"To expect special consideration because you're a single working mother, or a separated working mother," says Gretel, "is asking for disappointment if not dismissal."
"I suppose I'm lucky that the separation has been free of trouble," says Gretel, "but just coping with the children on my own and working all hours is really taking a toll on me. I don't even have time to read a newspaper or watch the news on television."
Gretel muses about how things were before the industrial revolution. She imagines that most women were cottage workers, doing their own thing in their own time in their own places. The whole scene was family friendly. Work and family responsibilities blended beautifully. There were no special work clothes and there was no commuting.
"Back in those days life must have been so uncomplicated for women," sighs Gretel, "but it must have been hard nevertheless because of the high mortality rates of children and short lives of people generally."
She often wonders what sort of enlightened way of working might be introduced in the future. She is presuming, of course, that there will be a future and that we will still be required to work!
"I think it's quite possible that work will consume our lives and motherhood as we know it will disappear," says Gretel. "Babies will be incubated in test-tubes. There will be no attachment that bonds us to our babies so there will be no guilt. And of course there would be no marriages, separations and divorce!"
"I'll go along with no marriage, separation and divorce," laughs Gretel, "but no attachment to babies and being consumed by work sounds horrible. But then, I'm sure the way women in our present system are run ragged by juggling work and childcare would sound just as horrible to those cottage workers centuries ago!"
"Now more than ever I need the money that a full-time job gives me," says Gretel, "but I also need a job with flexibile hours because without a husband to share the chores in the evening I am becoming incredibly tired. No, I am actually frazzled and exhausted and heading for a nervous breakdown!"
Unfortunately, her employer is unwilling to make concessions for her and she is in no position, now, to start looking around for a new job.
Gretel is trying her best to start a new life with her children, while coping with a bit of trouble from her estranged husband -- nothing particularly upsetting -- and she just wishes that her employer would be more understanding of the adjustments she has to make in order to cope solely with caring for the children as well as holding down a job.
"Employers just don't take kindly to single working mothers like me whose lives demand more flexibility than the average worker," sighs Gretel.
"I understand that employers generally prefer that everyone starts and finishes at the same time," says Gretel, "and while security considerations do account for some lack of flexibility in working hours I feel that it has far more to do with power and inflexible business minds more than anything else."
"Look at it this way," says Gretel, "we all have different time clocks but single working mothers, like I am now, tend to follow the pattern of their children going to bed early and getting up early. It would suit me to start early and finish early, but I am expected to conform to business hours. Starting at 9am doesn't bother me, but finishing at 6pm or later is really killing me."
"When you're up at 6am," says Gretel, "finishing at 6pm, or later, makes it a terribly long day and all I want to do is sleep when I get home but of course I can't. I'm on my own now -- and I'm glad of that -- but if the children aren't demanding all of my attention then the chores are. I knew that separating from my husband would put a whole lot of extra pressure on me at home, and having an inflexible employer makes my life so much harder."
Gretel philosophically accepts, of course, that businesses are not in business to suit the time-clocks of staff -- and especially the needs of single mothers -- but she feels that if businesses really wanted to prosper then they might consider the benefits of flexible working hours for everyone.
In addition to lack of flexible working hours, Gretel has the misfortune of working for a husband and wife team who regularly keep staff back working late until they are ready to keep some fancy restaurant appointment.
"My employers, for instance, don't consider -- or even care -- that some of their employees are single parents like me and need to get home, cook dinner and get the kids to bed," sighs Gretel. "They just operate on the premise that since they are working late, everyone else should be working late too."
"To expect special consideration because you're a single working mother, or a separated working mother," says Gretel, "is asking for disappointment if not dismissal."
"I suppose I'm lucky that the separation has been free of trouble," says Gretel, "but just coping with the children on my own and working all hours is really taking a toll on me. I don't even have time to read a newspaper or watch the news on television."
Gretel muses about how things were before the industrial revolution. She imagines that most women were cottage workers, doing their own thing in their own time in their own places. The whole scene was family friendly. Work and family responsibilities blended beautifully. There were no special work clothes and there was no commuting.
"Back in those days life must have been so uncomplicated for women," sighs Gretel, "but it must have been hard nevertheless because of the high mortality rates of children and short lives of people generally."
She often wonders what sort of enlightened way of working might be introduced in the future. She is presuming, of course, that there will be a future and that we will still be required to work!
"I think it's quite possible that work will consume our lives and motherhood as we know it will disappear," says Gretel. "Babies will be incubated in test-tubes. There will be no attachment that bonds us to our babies so there will be no guilt. And of course there would be no marriages, separations and divorce!"
"I'll go along with no marriage, separation and divorce," laughs Gretel, "but no attachment to babies and being consumed by work sounds horrible. But then, I'm sure the way women in our present system are run ragged by juggling work and childcare would sound just as horrible to those cottage workers centuries ago!"
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