marriage, a supportive partnership
When both Jin and her husband, Rick, found themselves out of work she was thrilled to find another job before their money ran out until she discovered, among other things, that she has to work with a really nasty and abusive co-worker.
"I want to quit, but without my income, we would have to start selling things in order to survive," says Jan, "and while I'm as upset as Rick is at the prospect of having to sell the house and contents we had worked so hard to buy, I am far more concerned about my health and well-being at this new job."
"I have been in the workforce long enough to know that every workplace has its normal share of interpersonal problems. However, in cases where hostility from a boss, manager or co-worker is severely affecting my performance and well-being - then I know it is not a good idea to stick it out expecting things to change."
"When this sort of thing happened to me in the past," says Jin, "I very quickly and smartly quit the job before real trouble arose. If I follow Rick’s advice and stick it out at my present job I'll eventually crack under the strain of being ‘nice’ and this will result in my future career being tarnished."
"Interpersonal problems at work are always seen as the fault of two people," sighs Jin, "even though one person causes the trouble."
"I’m the last born in my family and I got blamed for everything. My eldest sister was particularly good at making me her fall guy. Be damned if I’m going to be made a scapegoat at work for something that is not my fault."
Jin feels that her best option is to quit immediately on some pretext, rather than stick it out and end up having a blow-up with the co-worker that will ruin her prospects of finding another job easily.
"Rick disagrees with me and says I'm lucky to get a job and shouldn’t let the co-worker affect me," sighs Jin, "but if the shoe were on the other foot I'd be telling Rick to get out of that place as fast as he can."
"Why can't he see how this job is affecting me?"
Jin is now not only stressed out at work dealing with an abusive co-worker, but she's also fighting Rick on the home front. She feels he should be supporting her decision to quit, not forcing her to stay at a stressful job; and she also feels he is not trying hard enough to find work and is just sponging on her.
"Easy for him to say I should stick out this lousy job when he’s home watching television," scoffs Jin. "Marriage is supposed to be a supportive partnership, isn't it?"
"If Rick would just show me a little support -- and do something nice for me like cooking dinner before I get home I might be able to stick the job out," says Jin, "but because he's not doing anything to help me, or help himself get a job, I get the feeling that all he cares about is the money I bring home."
Job loss and job stress are common factors causing marital difficulties - and Jin and Rick will probably weather out their current problems - yet it is interesting that while ‘irreconcilable differences’ is a common basis for divorce it is never used in job resignation. Until it becomes as common a reason for job resignations as it is in divorce, it is an unfortunate fact of working life that people like Jin would rather lie than admit that an interpersonal problem was the main reason for their resignation.
Read more of Jin's story:
the workplace ogre
"I want to quit, but without my income, we would have to start selling things in order to survive," says Jan, "and while I'm as upset as Rick is at the prospect of having to sell the house and contents we had worked so hard to buy, I am far more concerned about my health and well-being at this new job."
"I have been in the workforce long enough to know that every workplace has its normal share of interpersonal problems. However, in cases where hostility from a boss, manager or co-worker is severely affecting my performance and well-being - then I know it is not a good idea to stick it out expecting things to change."
"When this sort of thing happened to me in the past," says Jin, "I very quickly and smartly quit the job before real trouble arose. If I follow Rick’s advice and stick it out at my present job I'll eventually crack under the strain of being ‘nice’ and this will result in my future career being tarnished."
"Interpersonal problems at work are always seen as the fault of two people," sighs Jin, "even though one person causes the trouble."
"I’m the last born in my family and I got blamed for everything. My eldest sister was particularly good at making me her fall guy. Be damned if I’m going to be made a scapegoat at work for something that is not my fault."
Jin feels that her best option is to quit immediately on some pretext, rather than stick it out and end up having a blow-up with the co-worker that will ruin her prospects of finding another job easily.
"Rick disagrees with me and says I'm lucky to get a job and shouldn’t let the co-worker affect me," sighs Jin, "but if the shoe were on the other foot I'd be telling Rick to get out of that place as fast as he can."
"Why can't he see how this job is affecting me?"
Jin is now not only stressed out at work dealing with an abusive co-worker, but she's also fighting Rick on the home front. She feels he should be supporting her decision to quit, not forcing her to stay at a stressful job; and she also feels he is not trying hard enough to find work and is just sponging on her.
"Easy for him to say I should stick out this lousy job when he’s home watching television," scoffs Jin. "Marriage is supposed to be a supportive partnership, isn't it?"
"If Rick would just show me a little support -- and do something nice for me like cooking dinner before I get home I might be able to stick the job out," says Jin, "but because he's not doing anything to help me, or help himself get a job, I get the feeling that all he cares about is the money I bring home."
Job loss and job stress are common factors causing marital difficulties - and Jin and Rick will probably weather out their current problems - yet it is interesting that while ‘irreconcilable differences’ is a common basis for divorce it is never used in job resignation. Until it becomes as common a reason for job resignations as it is in divorce, it is an unfortunate fact of working life that people like Jin would rather lie than admit that an interpersonal problem was the main reason for their resignation.
Read more of Jin's story:
the workplace ogre
Labels: marital matters, marriage, money, partnership, supportive, work
<< Home