candles in the wind

Elton John's rendition of Candle in the Wind to commemorate the death of Diana, reminds Clover not only of the beautiful woman who was once the Princess of Wales but also of her own life - and that of many other young women - whose lives are nothing more than flickering flames in a dark world ruled by ruthless men.

"To this day," confides Clover, "I still believe - like Dodi's father does - that Diana's death was no accident."

"The first thing I blurted out when I heard of Diana's death was 'they've killed her!' and that gut wrenching feeling remains to this day."

"I'm just an ordinary woman, living an ordinary life," says Clover, "but I know from my own divorce - and the men I met after it - that a lot of people wanted to get rid of me."

"I believe Diana was an incredible embarrassment to the royal family - Charles in particular," says Clover, "and by association the government of the nation was threatened, too."

"You see, it's alright for a man to marry a woman he doesn't love, saddle her with kids and then carry on with a lover on the side," explains Clover, "but it's not alright for the wronged wife to expose him, take revenge and divorce him."

"My marriage paralleled Diana's in that my husband treated me badly and he - and his family - were furious when I took the children and applied for divorce."

"For a while there I lived in fear of my ex-husband - or one of the thugs in his family - killing me," confides Clover. "I don't doubt for a minute that Diana harbored the same fears, but ten times worse because of her public position."

"I felt much safer when I got myself a boyfriend," says Clover, "but this fact in itself incensed my ex-husband and his family even more - and, just like Diana's new lover, my boyfriend turned out to be a rat, too."

"The misery of my marriage was compounded by the misery of a relationship with a rat - a man I loved and trusted and expected to marry and achieve happiness with."

"When I discovered that the new man in my life was no better than my ex-husband I broke off the relationship," says Clover, "and at the time he actually threatened to kill me!"

"Can you imagine how scared I was?"

"I don't know if Diana's rat threatened to kill her, but she had good grounds for believing he would publicly betray her - it must have been like hell for her."

"By finding happiness with Dodi - a Moslem - I think Diana tipped the scales against her," says Clover. "She was the mother of a future king - a future head of the Church of England - and while her relationship with a white skinned Christian rat was tolerated, a relationship with a dark skinned Moslem gentleman most certainly wasn't."

"I think my ex-husband and his family would have reacted similarly had I taken up with a black man."

"I still had the kids with me," explains Clover, "and those horrible people would not have tolerated their bloodline coming into contact with a black man on such a personal level. And the prospect of my marrying such a man and having a child with him might have caused them to hire a hit-man to prevent it happening."

"I know it sounds fantastic," sighs Clover, "but these things do happen. My flickering candlelight could have been put out as easily as Diana's was."

"When Diana died I listened to that song Candle in the Wind and cried and cried, like most damaged young women did," says Clover. "I suppose it reminded us of the fragility of our own lives and loves."

"I never remarried," confides Clover. "The kids are now grown up and so am I."