husband vetoes another baby
Janelle is 38 and had two children when she was very young. Now that they're growing up and preparing for college, Janelle is contemplating having another baby before she is too old to do so but her husband is against the idea.
"I'm still young and I have a good chance of falling pregnant," says Janelle, "but my husband is horrified at the thought of having a pregnant wife again and the children, of course, are aghast at the thought of having a brother or sister old enough to be their own child."
"I'm sure they'll love the baby when it comes," sighs Janelle. "but without my husband's co-operation I'm out on a limb."
"George, my husband, is mainly concerned about financial matters," says Janelle. "He's especially afraid that I might lose my job, or be demoted in it, once I become pregnant."
"Some countries have laws requiring employers to award women from 6 to 12 weeks of paid maternity leave if they have been employed continuously in a full-time capacity for more than 12 months and they're guaranteed continuity of their jobs when they return to work," says Janelle, "but I'm not in that lucky position."
"I know, too, that some companies award women these rights, without being required by law to do so," says Janelle, "but not the company I work for!"
"I'd say that women in most countries and most industries are still fighting an uphill battle just to require employers to grant any length of unpaid maternity leave," says Janelle, "and that's going to be my situation if I finally manage to talk George around to giving me another baby."
"Not much has changed since I had my kids in the late 1980s and was required by social pressure to quit my job," says Janelle, "and I do worry that I could lose my income, my seniority and possibly my job, too, should I go ahead and get pregnant."
"The rationale behind paid and unpaid maternity leave," says Janelle, "is that mothers can attend to their infants without worrying about their jobs. And yet I've heard lots of stories about women returning to work even within a 12-week unpaid period of maternity leave finding that their jobs are no longer there."
"Within 12 weeks anything can happen to a company, and often does," sighs Janelle. "There are regular restructures, downsizes and upgrades where I work. Sometimes when I return to work after a short vacation I notice things that have changed, so I could lose my job pregnant or not!"
One solution for Janelle would be to return to work in a part-time capacity, but not all employers want the bother of having to recruit another person to do the other half of the job that a woman with responsibility for a baby can no longer do.
"I'd rather remain in full-time employment," says Janelle. "Not just to keep George happy with the money I earn but also because I don't want to lose my seniority."
"I know George is worried about money," says Janelle, "but discrimination against pregnant moms is now against the law. Sure, a lot of employers get around the law by instituting a restructure that makes a pregnant woman's job redundant but people get made redundant all the time, pregnant or not."
"Some companies are really enlightened and provide crèches, mother's rooms for breastfeeding breaks and even ensure that women on maternity leave are kept in touch with what's happening at work in order to ease their return," says Janelle, "and I regret that I'm not working for a company like that."
"If I go ahead and talk George into have another baby," muses Janelle, "I have to take a lot of things into consideration. Firstly, the attitude of my employer who may feel that a pregnant woman's place is in the home, not the office; secondly the attitude of my younger co-workers who, like my children, are likely to feel that I'm too old to have another baby; thirdly, the very tricky business of finding suitable childcare if I stay in my job; fourthly, the physical and psychological changes of motherhood; and fifthy, the problem of less money coming in if I lose my job."
"George is mainly concerned about money," explains Janelle, "and that could be a big problem but it's not a given that I am going to lose my job. If I did lose my job, then that's that, but just by taking time off work to have a baby I'm aware that any time off work - maternity leave, sick leave, extended holidays or leave to take care of a sick relative - deprives women of that continuity that is so necessary to be considered for perks, promotion and highly specialized projects."
"I'm well aware, despite George reminding me, that I don't have the youth I had twenty years ago to enable me to work my way up in another job," sighs Janelle. "At 38, with seventeen years to go before retiring at 55, I wouldn't want to spend those years at the bottom of the employment heap!"
"All things considered I suppose I'm taking a huge personal risk to have another baby," says Janelle, "but, like I tell George, how will I feel when I'm 55 and past it?"
"I'm still young and I have a good chance of falling pregnant," says Janelle, "but my husband is horrified at the thought of having a pregnant wife again and the children, of course, are aghast at the thought of having a brother or sister old enough to be their own child."
"I'm sure they'll love the baby when it comes," sighs Janelle. "but without my husband's co-operation I'm out on a limb."
"George, my husband, is mainly concerned about financial matters," says Janelle. "He's especially afraid that I might lose my job, or be demoted in it, once I become pregnant."
"Some countries have laws requiring employers to award women from 6 to 12 weeks of paid maternity leave if they have been employed continuously in a full-time capacity for more than 12 months and they're guaranteed continuity of their jobs when they return to work," says Janelle, "but I'm not in that lucky position."
"I know, too, that some companies award women these rights, without being required by law to do so," says Janelle, "but not the company I work for!"
"I'd say that women in most countries and most industries are still fighting an uphill battle just to require employers to grant any length of unpaid maternity leave," says Janelle, "and that's going to be my situation if I finally manage to talk George around to giving me another baby."
"Not much has changed since I had my kids in the late 1980s and was required by social pressure to quit my job," says Janelle, "and I do worry that I could lose my income, my seniority and possibly my job, too, should I go ahead and get pregnant."
"The rationale behind paid and unpaid maternity leave," says Janelle, "is that mothers can attend to their infants without worrying about their jobs. And yet I've heard lots of stories about women returning to work even within a 12-week unpaid period of maternity leave finding that their jobs are no longer there."
"Within 12 weeks anything can happen to a company, and often does," sighs Janelle. "There are regular restructures, downsizes and upgrades where I work. Sometimes when I return to work after a short vacation I notice things that have changed, so I could lose my job pregnant or not!"
One solution for Janelle would be to return to work in a part-time capacity, but not all employers want the bother of having to recruit another person to do the other half of the job that a woman with responsibility for a baby can no longer do.
"I'd rather remain in full-time employment," says Janelle. "Not just to keep George happy with the money I earn but also because I don't want to lose my seniority."
"I know George is worried about money," says Janelle, "but discrimination against pregnant moms is now against the law. Sure, a lot of employers get around the law by instituting a restructure that makes a pregnant woman's job redundant but people get made redundant all the time, pregnant or not."
"Some companies are really enlightened and provide crèches, mother's rooms for breastfeeding breaks and even ensure that women on maternity leave are kept in touch with what's happening at work in order to ease their return," says Janelle, "and I regret that I'm not working for a company like that."
"If I go ahead and talk George into have another baby," muses Janelle, "I have to take a lot of things into consideration. Firstly, the attitude of my employer who may feel that a pregnant woman's place is in the home, not the office; secondly the attitude of my younger co-workers who, like my children, are likely to feel that I'm too old to have another baby; thirdly, the very tricky business of finding suitable childcare if I stay in my job; fourthly, the physical and psychological changes of motherhood; and fifthy, the problem of less money coming in if I lose my job."
"George is mainly concerned about money," explains Janelle, "and that could be a big problem but it's not a given that I am going to lose my job. If I did lose my job, then that's that, but just by taking time off work to have a baby I'm aware that any time off work - maternity leave, sick leave, extended holidays or leave to take care of a sick relative - deprives women of that continuity that is so necessary to be considered for perks, promotion and highly specialized projects."
"I'm well aware, despite George reminding me, that I don't have the youth I had twenty years ago to enable me to work my way up in another job," sighs Janelle. "At 38, with seventeen years to go before retiring at 55, I wouldn't want to spend those years at the bottom of the employment heap!"
"All things considered I suppose I'm taking a huge personal risk to have another baby," says Janelle, "but, like I tell George, how will I feel when I'm 55 and past it?"
