don't give up on men but get smart
Toni is in break-up recovery and is very suspicious of new men entering her life, but she has not given up on her dream to meet a nicer guy than the last one and to this end is getting smart about guy types."I think women in crisis like me unconsciously send out ‘screw me’ signals," explains Toni, "because the number of potential wolves that have suddenly appeared in my life is remarkable."
"Guys who turn up unexpectedly during a crisis period – like a breakup –really need to be treated with suspicion," says Toni. "Crises equate with vulnerability, and it’s during these times that we need to be alone to sort ourselves out, rather than dealing with a whole load of people and exposing ourselves to more and more screwers."
“I think that the most obvious sign of potential screwers is the uncanny ‘coincidence’ that they always seem to lack something that you have.”
“I always consider: Are they poorer than me? Are they less popular than me? Are they much younger or older than me? Are they not as good looking as I am? Are they fatter or skinnier than me? Or much shorter or taller? I'm employed, are they unemployed? I'm happy, are they miserable? I'm healthy, are they sick or disabled? I'm stable, are they unstable?”
"And then," explains Toni, "I ask myself the many more differences - personal to me - that I can add to the list. I include my tangible as well as my intangible assets. If there are too many differences, I know I'm likely to be dealing with a Mr Wrong - someone who may be using me to compensate for his shortcomings ."
"I believe that sticking to my own kind - a guy similar to myself - is the best way to avoid trouble and find Mr Right," says Toni, "and if I haven't found him by the time I'm 25 then I guess I'll just have to settle for a Mr Wrong. Only joking! I'm not that desperate!"
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