put your man first

Beth and Lionel have been married for twenty-five years and they have one child, Belle, living at home with them.

"Belle was a 'mistake'," confides Beth, "We never planned on having children, but one day our contraceptive method failed and we ended up with an unplanned pregnancy."

"I was horrified at the thought of abortion," confides Beth, "so I went ahead with the pregnancy and we loved Belle to bits once she was born."

Beth married Lionel because she was head over heels in love with him, and he felt the same way about her.

Twenty-five years later, they’re still like lovebirds and Beth's secret is that she never allowed Belle to come between herself and Lionel.

"Lionel always had priority in my life," confides Beth, "even when Belle was a baby."

Beth says that a big mistake many women make - and men, too - is to get married in order to have children.

"I think that women whose biological clocks are ticking away and are desperate for a baby would be better off going to a sperm bank than using some hapless man to feed their desires," confides Beth, "because children do not make a marriage."

"Very often," says Beth, "the advent of a child can break a marriage, and none of my divorced friends are happy being tied through children to a man they never really loved."

"Their entire lives are cursed," Beth says, "because their desire to have a child was greater than their desire to love and be loved by a man."

"Never, ever, ever," advises Beth, "have a child by a man you do not adore!"

"Another mistake, but not as terrible in its ramifications," says Beth, "is getting married in order to ease the loneliness and social ostracism that sometimes go with being single."

"And then there’s the career woman who takes on marriage in order to further her prospects."

While Beth thinks there’s nothing wrong with getting married purely for companionship -- indeed some of these companionship marriages work out very well -- she feels sorry for people who have no passion in their relationship.

Beth believes that wedded bliss is primarily about a woman and man adoring one another, but mostly it’s about a woman adoring her husband.

And Beth not only adores her husband but she also builds her life around pleasing him. As Beth says: "If I didn’t please him, some other woman would. A man is not monogamous by nature, and it’s a woman’s job to keep him happy."

Beth has been a stay at home mom ever since Belle was born, but she was that way inclined to start off with.

"I'm not a housewifely type," laughs Beth, "and neither am I a working type. I'm a company wife - sort of like a politician's wife."

"I do a lot of entertaining at home for Lionel," says Beth, "and I regularly accompany him to functions and sometimes I go on business trips with him, too."

Beth believes she’s a good role model for her daughter, and agrees with what most stay at home moms say about superwomen.

"Women who want it all are kidding themselves," laughs Beth. "Lionel and I are a team and his successes are my successes. I have much, much more than any working woman could ever attain."

"I feel very sorry for women who either have to work through financial necessity or feel a need to work and compete with their men," says Beth.

"There are far too many women out there - very likely to be single through desertion or divorce - who are struggling to make ends meet on a paltry income from a menial job and never have a chance to make their dreams come true."

"And there are just as many women dominated by a man and have no personality or life or interests of their own. You know the type, Mrs. John Doe who lives for her husband and children and when they all leave her, as they invariably will, she will wither and die as a pathetic nobody."

"But most frightening of all," laughs Beth, "are the chemically controlled superwomen who think they have it all together and yet they are all borderline schizophrenics because of the double life they lead."

"I see this type at Lionel's company," shudders Beth. "They are feared by their families and co-workers, and their performance on both fronts leaves much to be desired."

To be a good role model for daughters, Beth believes that women need to adore their husbands. They need to put the man first in their lives. This simple commitment guarantees that a married woman will be seen by other people - daughters particularly - as a beautiful, cherished and fulfilled woman at any age.

"If you adore your husband," says Beth, "then the common complaint of boredom and loneliness in marriage will never occur."

"It is no irony, that the happiest women are married women and so are the unhappiest."

"The difference between these women," explains Beth, "is that the happy women put their man first, and the unhappy women put their children or themselves first."