gold-digging husband

Women often marry for money, but Karlina, a plain, dumpy woman of 47, insists that men can be gold-diggers, too. It happened to her!

"Mike married me for my family's money," admits Karlina, "and I let him get away with it because I was stupidly in love with him."

"Every second of every day, all over the world," says Karlina, "some stupid woman is being manipulated into giving up her virginity or signing over her house, her car and her life savings to some guy who claims to love her. And then she wonders why he disappears off the face of the earth, often leaving her with massive debts."

In many respects, Karlina wishes that her husband, Mike, had disappeared off the face of the earth after marrying her!

"It's hard to accept that Mike only married me because I came from a wealthy family," confides Karlina. "I know I'm not beautiful, but I had hoped that he really did love me. It shattered me when he told me the truth shortly after we were married but there wasn't much I could about it because I loved him so much - and I guess I still do."

"The only way a total stranger can get you to hand over your purse is by gun-point," laughs Karlina, "yet if the same guy took some time to get to know you and gain your trust you're likely to hand over a lot more than your purse. Right?"

"In my case, I exposed my parents to a lifetime of bad debts because of the man I married."

"It's no great secret," says Karlina, "that manipulative men tend to have a charming, disarming or commanding manner of speech and behavior. Without such gifts, they are unlikely to be able to dazzle or bluff trusting women into believing their lies."

Karlina believes that the most common bluffers, scammers, conmen or screwers - whatever you want to call them - aren't total strangers. They are our lovers, partners, children, friends, family and business associates.

"And, what they want is not always what we have that they don't have," says Karlina. "It could be simply getting us to do something that they don't want to do themselves."

"Gaining your trust is a common screwing tactic for intimates," says Karlina, "because you have to make some sort of commitment - or actually be in a committed relationship - before the screwing starts in earnest."

"Mine was a shotgun marriage," confides Karlina, "so my parents had to accept Mike, even though they thought he wasn't good enough for me. Getting me pregnant was his surefire way of getting his hands on my money."

Having a 'charming' husband and three even more 'charming' teenaged sons at home is a source of both joy and despair for Karlina.

In many respects Karlina is the proverbial doormat wife and mother, and yet she is perfectly aware of what is going on.

"Mike and the boys don't mistreat me physically," confides Karlina. "They merely manipulate me and my parents into doing things for them that we might not want to do - and much of that involves money."

"Mike conned my parents to invest in some bad ventures that got them into some serious financial troubles over the years," confides Karlina. "Sure, they should have known better, but Mike is such a charming manipulator that it's difficult to say no to him."

Loving to pieces the four charming and manipulative men dominating her life is something Karlina cannot help doing, but to her credit she is doing her best to stop the next generation repeating the scamming.

Karlina is particularly concerned about the young girls that her boys bring home. She can’t, or won’t, do much to change her own situation, but she does her best to warn the girls that her sons are not to be trusted.

Women are so easily manipulated when they feel comfortable and safe with a man, and by telling these girls that they are not safe with her boys Karlina hopes that she’s saving these girls from a fate similar to hers.

"Once a girl feels safe with a boy, and trusts him, he can get away with anything. She will continue trusting and believing him even though he may have let her down many times in the past," sighs Karlina.

"It may be magnanimous to forgive," she says "but it's unwise for any woman - especially a young girl starting out in life - to forget a past scam and continue to trust a man who's manipulated her. I don't want to see any young girl get hurt like I did."

"When a manipulative man has gained a girl’s trust, he can pull the old 'don't you trust me?' guilt trip on her, and get her embroiled in more and more risky situations," says Karlina.

"I suppose I am just too trusting for my own good," admits Karlina, "but what's the alternative? If I went around mistrusting everyone I would be labeled paranoid."

Karlina has also been screwed by the old 'trust me' trick in professional relationships. When her youngest son was two years old she took him to a dentist to get a stain on the little boy’s baby teeth removed.

"I trusted what the dentist told me - that he just wanted a photograph of my baby son for his personal records," says Karlina. "Instead, I found out later by an amazing coincidence that he had used the photograph professionally, without my permission, as an example of parental neglect of dental hygiene in infants."

"I didn't tell Mike because he would have created a scene," confides Karlina, "and the last thing my parents would want is our name in the papers again."

Karlina maintains, though, that the worst type of 'trust me' conman is the one who gains our love. It’s how her husband first screwed her literally as well as figuratively.

He pulled the old 'if you love me, you'd do this for me' guilt trip on her, and got her to give away her virginity at 15.

"He was a womanizer then, and still is," sighs Karlina. "Yet I'm in this marriage for keeps. It's all very well for people to advise me to divorce him, but I'd have a far worse life on my own. I'd have to go back to my parents or live in some dump and work slave hours to pay the rent."

"No thanks, being a married stay at home mom suits me fine, even if I am a doormat."